When people feel discomfort, they try to sooth it by turning to food, shopping, alcohol, drugs or any other distractions. The discomfort often originates from our fear that we’re not good enough or not in control. Most of the times, those feelings are exaggerated and unfounded. If we had a closer look at the situation and what is causing our discomfort it would fall into the category of ‘challenging but achievable’. Challenging times come with a level of discomfort which will pass after a while.
When people start to exercise after being inactive for a while, they feel discomfort. It’s hard! It’s not as easy as not exercising. It’s not something you’re used to doing, and you fear doing it wrong or looking stupid. And after a while you stop because it’s uncomfortable, when really it’s not horrible to be uncomfortable for a little while.
Changing habits, creating new habits, or doing something new is likely to cause some discomfort. Imagine where we could go if we are more comfortable with discomfort?
How can we increase our comfort with discomfort?
The key is to start small.
- Choose something that you find challenging but not mind blowing.
- Repeat it every day at a set time. It will be strange, perhaps difficult, but soon your comfort zone will expand.
- Take a moment after each time to feel proud of yourself. Take note of any little progress you’ve made. If you are a journal person, make a note after each ‘discomfort event’. Share what you’ve done and how you felt with a friend.
- Visualise the desired end result.
- Watch your discomfort. Are you starting to complain or making excuses? Are you looking for ways to avoid it? Where do you turn to? What would you write in your journal on that day? What would you have to tell your friend?
What are you currently doing that gives you discomfort?
Do you have one thing, none, or maybe too many? (If you are doing nothing that causes you discomfort you are not stretching yourself.)
Being comfortable with discomfort at work
At work, we have many people with different views, perspectives, agendas, and personalities, which can lead to a feeling of discomfort. When it comes to resolving differences and conflict at work, people feel uncomfortable. Fears kick in. The fear of not being good enough to deal with it, the fear of an unpleasant outcome, the uncertainty of something new. Those fears are often followed by avoidance.
People turn to glossing over, re-interpreting, re-framing and diminishing differences. They are eager to conform with their colleagues and try to reach a compromise without getting to the root cause of a problem. This is soothing and makes them feel comfortable, but it’s neither helping their organisation nor their own development. According to the 2020 Global Human Capital Trends, 53% of respondents said that more than half of their workforce will need to change their skills and capabilities in the next 3 years.
Companies need a culture of innovation and fast-paced learning to adapt to their changing environment. If people are comfortable staying with discomfort until they fully explored the merits of opposing viewpoints, they will make better decisions. In a work environment, where different viewpoints are invited and appreciated as drivers for progress and learning, people will get more and more comfortable with the diversity and change around them.
At work, what are you doing that gives you discomfort? Are you trying to avoid it, how?
What small steps can you take to increase your comfort with discomfort at work?
At the Diversity Institute we help people to better connect, collaborate and resolve differences. Please reach out, connect, and leave your comments.
